Weekly Roundup: Ryan Kelley Got Busted, James Craig’s Write-In Vanity Fair, Another Soldano Anti-Choice Flub, and Dixon Gets More Film Credits

Well folks, just over 7 full weeks remain until the August primary, and voters can begin casting ballots 13 (!!!) days from now. This week made national headlines many times over, but here’s what you missed if you were camping out over on Earth 2. 

Ryan Kelley Got Popped by the Feds

Just when we thought the goat rodeo formerly known as the Republican gubernatorial primary had yee’d it’s last haw, a new Bureau rolled into town. Yesterday, the FBI appeared at Ryan Kelley’s door and arrested him on criminal charges for participating in the violent insurrection on January 6th, 2021 that resulted in five deaths and 140 injured law enforcement officers.

We’re old enough to remember when that would have unequivocally and thoroughly disqualified a candidate for higher office in the eyes of their own party, much less the general public, with a swift withdrawal from the race issued by Kelley before a federal agent could finish reading him his Miranda rights. However, we are on Earth 1, and these are Michigan Republicans in 2022. 

Faster than Kelley yelled “Come on, let’s go! This is it! This is– this is war, baby!” on the U.S. Capitol steps during the January 6th insurrection, every candidate still on the ballot leapt to his defense, signifying just how far this bitter race to the fringe has run. Right behind them were MIGOP co-chairs Meshawn Maddock and Ron Weiser, evidently not satisfied with how much of a mockery they’ve made out of the word ‘leadership’ so far this cycle. 

So just like the case of the tens of thousands of forged and fraudulent signatures, the pArTy Of LaW aNd OrDeR is once again asleep at the kicked-in barricades, broken windows, and 140 brutalized police officers.

Consequently, Michigan strategists on both sides of the aisle spent Raid Day gaming out how this fiasco could actually boost Kelley’s already concerningly healthy standing in the crowded and volatile primary in two well-sourced stories that are worth the read.

  • Detroit News: Ryan Kelley’s Arrest Could Boost GOP Hopeful in Primary Race for Governor, Experts Say
  • Detroit Free Press: Federal Criminal Charges Could Help Ryan Kelley’s GOP Campaign for Governor

It’s Official! In a State That Already Has John James and Craig Reynolds, James Craig (R-Circus) Launched a Write-In Campaign

During a completely unhinged joint interview with fellow loser Perry Johnson on ‘Let it Rip’ with Roop Raj, James Craig officially announced he is pursuing a write-in campaign. This Hail Mary effort – from a candidate whose own lawyers called him “Chief Clark” – is the capstone of what has been a stunning fall from grace. He even admitted earlier this week that the bid was “a long shot…that’s ridiculous, it’s buffoonery.” Nearly a year ago, Craig gave his first political speech, an address on Republicanism that had leading remarks from just about every top Republican in the state. 

We’ve rehashed his systemwide failures multiple times, but it’s worth pointing out once again that Craig has struggled with fundraising for months on end, is on his fourth and fifth campaign managers, and lost every single endorsement. 

Republican strategist John Sellek succinctly explained what would spur a man with the nickname “Hollywood” to launch a write-in: “Talk of write-in campaigns reinforces the idea many just want to be in the ongoing game, performing, getting attention. It’s not just about winning, let alone governing. Which is why they don’t resume their previously scheduled home life.”

We’d respect the chief fraudster more if he just admitted it rather than hide behind his clearly non-existent supporters, but we know running from things is what he does best

Thanks for the Shoutout, Tudor!

This week, a shady fringe PAC released a misleading TV ad to get Tudor Dixon’s wrong-for-Michigan agenda in front of the millions of voters that still don’t know she exists. 

But why should Tudor Dixon get to be the only one in the film production business? This week, we released a new video highlighting the fact that Tudor Dixon’s backwards agenda deserves far more screams than one of the “offensive” and “disgusting” horror productions she’s starred in. 

Dixon’s film credits served as the perfect backdrop to highlight how her chilling vision for Michigan includes supporting illegal blockades that kneecap the auto industry and our economy, stripping billions from public schools, and eliminating reproductive freedom from millions of women and families – without exception for rape, incest, or health of the mother.

For our efforts, Dixon rewarded us with a retweet and a few thousand more views. Any more help here Tudor and we’ll have to put you on payroll. We can assure it would be a better gig than her current position of DeVos sellout.

Garrett Soldano Shows Why Legislators Should Have to Fill Out a Basic Diagram on Female Reproductive Organs Before Even Thinking About Legislating Them

Shocking. The guy who stated sexual abuse survivors should not be able to have abortions because “God put them in this moment” and it would make them “heroic” couldn’t pick a uterus out of a lineup if his life depended on it.

This week, Garrett Soldano got caught supporting a total ban on emergency contraception like Plan B if elected, clearly not understanding that it is not designed nor even remotely effective for terminating a pregnancy. He erroneously referred to it as “after morning” medication and explaining his reasoning, commented “that’s DNA man.”

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