Eleven! Days! To! Go! until the end of the primary. As it stands, things are, according to pollster Richard Czuba, at a “dead heat between” everyone not named Ralph Rebandt (sick slogan tho), undecided is still in the lead, and apathy to actually participate in the Republican primary has reached historic highs (lows?). A LOT happened this week, let’s dive right in.
Another Week, Another Debate
Every debate this cycle held on a day ending in y has resulted in everyone on stage largely agreeing on the pillars of each other’s wrong-for-Michigan agendas. This past Wednesday’s showdown at Oakland University was no exception, so we won’t bore you with those seven-times-recycled details. However, it was definitely the spiciest affair to date. A sampling of the broadsides:
- Soldano to Dixon: “My definition of establishment is basically your entire campaign.”
- Kelley to Rinke: Remember all those racial and sexual harrassment lawsuits you racked up?
- Rinke to Dixon: “The DeVos family owns you.”
- Dixon to Rinke: If I’m so establishment then why did you donate to Romney in 2012?
- Dixon on the rest of the field: “They’ve been puffing up their chests, and they’ve been running daily attack ads against me because they thought it was a popularity contest.”
- Ralph Rebandt: I’m Ralph Rebandt.
A testament to the sportsmanship that Michiganders no doubt associate with this race, the fight spilled over into the metaphorical bar parking lot (see: Twitter) after the main event.
Kevin Rinke: Tudor Dixon collects never Trumpers the way most people collect baseball cards: bankrolled by the DeVos, who tried to remove Trump from office
Worked for Rosie O’Donnell
Endorsed by leading Never Trumpers in state legislature
Kevin Rinke: Michigan saw a clear choice tonight. In Tudor Dixon, they have an establishment bought-and-paid-for politician who will say anything and take anyone’s money to become Governor.
Tudor Dixon: @KevinRinke has made a career of harassing women. It’s not going to save him or the millions he blew on his pathetic campaign.
It’s Finally Attack Ad Szn
And not a moment too soon. After Rinke attacked Dixon and nearly added another lawsuit to his scoreboard (Dixon’s legal team threatened one of the defamation variety), the new MIGOP-insider favorite responded in kind with an ad calling him “losing and desperate.” Tame compared to her initial reaction of Rinke’s salvo: “Kevin’s career is littered with voluminous accusations of discrimination, sexual harassment complaints from both women and men and ‘disgusting behavior,’ so it’s no surprise he’s using the same tactics to end his failing campaign.”
Rinke of course wasn’t about to let Dixon have the last word: “At the end of the day, all I wanted in my ad was to tell the truth. You can’t have it both ways. I think the president needed to know that Tudor was saying one thing and doing another thing.”
If this is also all reading to you like a sad AIM chat between two school bullies, we apologize for resurfacing that trauma. If it can be believed, we’re saving you from wading through a bunch of side chirps from their respective staff and lawyers, although that was fun for us to watch too.
Where are Y’all’s Taxes?
Far be it from us to call Bill Ballenger the voice of reason generally, but in the spirit of bipartisanship, we’ll concede that when he’s right, he’s right. After Tudor Dixon, Kevin Rinke, Ryan Kelley, Garrett Soldano, and Ralph Rebandt all refused to disclose a single year of their tax returns, the conservative political analyst noted they were “totally off the wall in terms of historical measures of people running for governor.” He also added that he wasn’t shocked they all passed on even the most simple way to show Michgianders they would be committed to transparency in office. We don’t expect that outlook to change anytime soon.
Dixon: Incestual Rape of a Minor Sounds Like a Good Reason to Ban Abortion
If you’re a normal person, when you saw all the negative coverage Garrett Soldano got for stating that women who are raped should not be able to have abortions because “God put them in this moment,” you cringed. Tudor Dixon however, said, “surely I can do better than that.
At time of writing, we’ve yet to see the bottom of the fallout from the “podcaster” describing a 14-year-old child being sexually assaulted by their uncle as a “perfect example” of someone who should be forced to give birth. Oh, she also implied that the interview in which she said it took her comments out of context. What’s in the Snyder cut, you ask? Just her calling the horrific hypothetical a “perfect example” not just once, but twice. You should’ve just left this one on the cutting room floor, Tudor.
But because we are in the worst timeline, there’s more in the anti-choice bonafides department.
Evidently feeling like it’s been too long since her last anti-choice conspiracy theory and newly endorsed by Susan B. Anthony List, Dixon is now targeting *check notes* dentists.
Speaking to Michigan Radio, she warned – without evidence of course – that dentists and school nurses are “predators” that would start performing abortions should a petition to codify abortion as a right in Michigan be successful this fall.
The backdrop of this absolutely unhinged statement? The complete lack of ambiguity that the same Republicans Dixon is courting to support her come August 2nd overwhelmingly want to retain some reproductive protections, especially in cases of rape and incest.
Rinke’s Crusade Against Equality Won’t Save His This-Is-Worth-A-Salary Watches From Getting Sniped
Congratulations to apparent fancy watchhead and MLive reporter Simon Schuster for spotting that Rinke sports a $39,000 Patek Philippe while trying to pitch himself as a consummate salt of the earth kinda dude and railing against ‘equal outcomes.’
For those that have been with us for the long haul, you’ll recall that this is actually the second time a timepiece of the out-of-touch millionaire’s has made the news. Way to double down on the Rolex Submariner backlash by wearing a watch nearly twice as pricey.